Roses for Mom

It has been forever since I've been here.

I'm sitting on a bench in the beautiful rose gardens on this cool  June morning thinking about my Mom. She would love it here. She loved roses, maybe she still does.

It's been awhile since I've talked to my Mom. Well, like a real conversation. Since January she sorta just checked out.  She started drinking again. It was a rapid decline. She's done this before, but this time isn't like before. This time, I don't think she'll recover.  She won't take our calls, check email, or even get out of bed anymore.  All she does is drink her husband says. We occasionally can call him and he puts her on the phone. She's hard to understand and slurs her words. Conversation usually only lasts  in the range of 30 seconds to maybe 2 minutes if I'm lucky. It's difficult.
Being here today, I'm thinking about things that my Mom loved. She loved roses. At our homes growing up, she always had long rows of roses planted in the front of the house. I always loved that. They were beautiful. She took great care of them. When Patrick and I moved to New Mexico, she insisted that she buy us a rose bush for our front yard. It just makes a home. I was actually sad to leave that rose bush that my Mom bought for us.
At our new house here in Oregon, one of the first things that I did in the spring this year was plant some rose bushes. It really does make it feel like home to me.
I really miss my mom. Even though she's still with us, she's not really here anymore. I try and think of the beautiful things she loves. The things she taught me to enjoy.
This rose is one I think she would really love. It is so beautiful, smells amazing, and is named Neil Dimond ... a singer she is fond of. This one's for you Mom!