ME

I thought as a kid when you become an adult you have it all figured out.  I don't know why.....

I find myself nearing 40 and still can't explain who I am.

Today after a staff meeting I was cranky. I often just say exactly what I'm thinking. I'm in no way shy with my opinions. I think I deserve to be heard and respected.  That doesn't always happen.  That gets me frustrated and in turn makes me cranky. Afterward I ALWAYS worry that I said too much, or said the wrong thing.

Tonight it made me start thinking about ME.                                                

I worry that I'm too passionate
I worry that I'm too opinionated
I worry that I curse too much
I worry that I'm too impatient
I worry that I'm too chunky & out of shape
I worry that I don't allow myself to make friends
I worry that I will never achieve greatness
I worry that I'm not smart enough

I have suffered for the last few years with anxiety & sometimes with depression.

I really want to push all the worry aside and just be myself.  I want to only care about the things that really matter to ME.  If people don't like me, then they don't.  I need to see the good in me because it's there, and it's so important that I accept and love who I am.

Right now I'm trying to teach Savannah not to worry so much what other people think.  It would help if I didn't worry so much too.

* To anyone who may read this.  This is just a place for me to vent.  I want to look back and remember my struggles as much as the successes in my life.